yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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