i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
