Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
