I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
