Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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