I heard we made out
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
