did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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