Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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