I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
