he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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