Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
