I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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