Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
