I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
