Midget sex pt 2 tonight
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
