the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
