i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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