Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
