Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i out mim tonsoeep
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