I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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