I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
