Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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