Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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