Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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