Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
bring money and cleavage
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
