she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He better not be in your backpack
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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