Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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