do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
