why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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