I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
