This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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