She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
