her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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