Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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