we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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