I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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