just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
