kristin has been a bad kristin
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My vagina is very pro this idea
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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