Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
