i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
as a side note pls kill me
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
