everyone is single if you try hard enough
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
