In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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