i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
