how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
