Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
that is very illegal...i love you.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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