what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
