How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
