he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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