watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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