i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
