Your mouth is God's brothel.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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