I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
